Our Visit to the Orphanage

Sorry this post is very overdue. It is amazing how every minute of the day is filled, and those that aren’t are spent sleeping or trying to regroup before another event. We are still exhausted, but having the time of our lives. So many memories are being made on this trip.

Our orphanage visit, well, it was unlike anything I could have imagined. I was worried about how Xander may react to returning to the only home he has ever known. I was worried about the emotions I may feel seeing his orphanage and even possibly his abandonment site. All of those things ran through my mind on the 2 ½ hour drive to the city where his orphanage was…it seemed like a LONG drive!

We were given a special privilege and our translator, who traveled with us to the orphanage, was the Director of International Adoptions for the entire province of Fujian. Because of this we were treated to a fancy lunch, and enjoyed a “lunch meeting” where we understood absolutely nothing!

Our drive over was gorgeous. We’ve decided that the “country side” in Fujian is worth the trip. It was full of green mountains decorated with some traditional Chinese buildings. It was a nice drive, and a good way to wind down after the visit was over.

When we arrived at Xander’s orphanage we were greeted by the director (whom we had met already and whose picture is in a previous post) and many of the residents. In China, a Welfare Institute includes an orphanage-type setting for children, but the elderly also live there. It is an interesting concept. We were brought into a room with a large table covered in bananas, peaches and lychee fruit (a native fruit). There were pictures on the wall of the orphanage director and many of the VIPs that she had met. Apparently she is also a representative of some sort. We enjoyed some fruit and were asked if we had any questions, which we really didn’t. We were then taken to Xander’s room. In the room were 3 cribs: 1 was where he used to be, 1 had a baby that was just brought to the orphanage a few days ago and 1 had a little girl maybe about 1 year old. We found out that these were the only babies in this orphanage. I don’t need to tell you that our little man came from humble beginnings.

We then left the orphanage after meeting a few of the people who cared for him and headed to a hotel for lunch. It just happened that this hotel (the nicest one in town) was the place Xander was abandoned. We visited the site, took some pictures and headed up to lunch. We were fed a great lunch and listened to some conversations about orphanage stuff—well, I guess that’s what they talked about. Xander was getting a little whiny, and the director noticed, so he quickly ended lunch and our visit was over. As we were saying our last goodbyes it was clear that our little boy was going to be missed.

Let me say this: orphanages are not good places, but I do believe that some are better than others. Due to Xander being one of very few babies, we believe he was given more attention than most. It was clear that people cared about him. When we got there everyone came out to greet him, and as we left there were tears. Xander was clearly confused while we were there, but I still think it was necessary for all of us to go. I’m not sure if it was the timing of the trip, or the trip itself, but Xander is a different kid (in a good way) since we returned. I’m not sure if 20-month-olds need closure, but it appears that our 20-month-old did.

View from the second floor near Xander's room

Xander's crib

Xander's nanny


Abandonment site at the entrance to the hotel