June 30, 2010

Xander's orphanage and finding spot

I don't have any words. Such a sad, confused little boy

On our way to Putian City

The grounds of the Xianyou County Social Welfare Institute of Putian City

The baby's room. Xander's bed is on the far right. I was looking at the newest arrival, a baby girl, about 1 week old.

Xander's finding spot

Our lunch with some of the orphanage staff (director Chen on the far left) at the hotel where Xander was found. So many emotions on that day.

While we visited to the orphanage Macey, Nana and Grandpa Max went to an aquarium

These "real life" mermaids started a 6 month obsession with mermaids! (that is not Macey in the corner, just another on-looker)

Reflection:

This was the second super emotional day. Xander was so confused, I felt horrible for him, but knew it would be good for future conversations. It gave us an idea of what his life before us was like. Although we were only there a short time, and were not able to see most of the grounds, we met the people who cared for him, some of his friends and saw the bed that he slept in for 20 months. Wow, to this day I have a hard time imagining his life there, and what a contrast it is to his life now. I am not referring to the material things, those are obvious, but certainly not the important part. We believe that he was taken care of in the best way that an orphanage could. We could see that the people there genuinely cared for him, but they were not his mom and dad.

I will never forget the overwhelming feeling of possession I had toward Xander that day. As we walked around the grounds I just held him tight. At the suggestion of the guide he was in the carrier the whole time, and I will forever be grateful for that. I wasn't sure if I should allow the nannies and others to hold him, but as soon as I got there I did not want to let him go. I wanted him to start to believe that he was with us, from now on, forever.